Mistletoe Mishap
by alondrabermudez
Summary: Every year, Jack dangles a mistletoe under any unsuspecting female. This year, Janet decides to change that.


_Imagine Person A of your OTP carrying mistletoe everywhere around Christmas. However, one day, when A wants to use the mistletoe on Person B, A finds it missing. When they end up in a private location (their apartment, house, bedroom, etc.), Person B surprises A by revealing they were the one who stole the mistletoe, then B proceeds to hold the mistletoe over their lap, telling their partner that they wanted to try "a different kind of mistletoe kiss."_

Jack/Janet, one shot. Rated M for language sexual themes. Takes place sometime around season 8. This is my first time writing anything smut like, so here I go! (

Also, sorry for the horrible title!)

...

"Look at that,"

Janet heard Jack's voice say all the way from the other side of the room, while she mingled with Carol Grady by the (spiked) punch bowl.

"We're underneath the mistletoe! You know what that means!"

Janet rolled her eyes darkly as she heard the hoots and hollers of the other guests while Jack dipped a busty blonde and planted a very non-chaste kiss on her.

Every year on Christmas day, like clockwork, Jack would dangle the same mistletoe over any unsuspecting female within a mile radius. Most of the time the woman would accept the kiss, while other times Jack would get either a scowl, a snarky remark, or a slap in the face. On rare occasions, it would be a combination of all three. Janet always enjoyed the latter, and always hoped for it.

Unfortunately for her, this woman seemed to encourage more out of Jack, and he wasn't going to back out anytime soon.

"Shit, Get a load of that," Carol whistled lowly. "Isn't that the same mistletoe trick he tried out last year?"

"And the year before that, and the year before that..." Janet muttered, taking a heavy swig from her alcoholic drink. "The man will not lay off of that silly scheme of his."

"Well, that silly scheme of his seems to really work." Carol pointed out, rather impressed.

Janet scoffed to herself. It only works because it's _Jack_. Had it been anyone else like, say Larry, the kissing game would've been permanently shut down by women all over. Janet kept her eyes trained on the mistletoe still hovering over the smooching pair, and developed a rather imposing scheme herself.

After a while, Jack began to make his way over to Janet and Carol, a smug look adoring his face. Janet was the first to spot his movement, and leaned over to Carol's side.

"Uh oh, Jack's on his way over. Carol, you better get a move on before he traps you under that thing," Janet murmured for her companion to hear.

Carol followed Janet's gaze and curtly nodded before slipping past Janet and over to where her husband, Bob, stood with other friends.

"Helloooo, Janet!" Jack bellowed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his side. "How's my favorite brunette?"

"Still brunette as ever," Janet replied, clearly annoyed with Jacks loud and rowdy behavior at the moment.

Jack laughed at his expense, rubbing his hand over Janet's thin arm, and locked his fingers in the fabric of her sweater sleeve. She narrowed her brown eyes at Jack, training them on his goofy grin that played on his lips. She glanced to the half empty glass that he held in his free hand.

"Jack?"

"Hm?"

"Are you drunk?"

Jack squinted his light eyes and shook his head.

"Nah, this is only my second drink of the night."

Janet raised an eyebrow, fixing her features into a glare.

"Well, maybe this is my third...and a half..."

The corners of Janet's mouth twitched into a sly smirk, pleased that she was easily able to look through Jack's façade, and turned back to the bustling party that would soon enough turn into a drunken shit show.

"Now, Janet," Jack began, re-capturing Janet's attention again. "May I also ask you a question?" He retracted his grip on her forearm and turned to face her fully.

"Sure, Jack," she smiled plainly, awaiting his concern.

"Are you ready to handle all of this?"

"What?"

"You know," Jack gestured vaguely to his forehead and offered a playful smirk. "This piece of fine tradition. You know the rules, Janet, whoever's under the mistletoe have to kiss. Now, lay it on me!"

Jack closed his eyes and waited to feel Janet's lips on his, but felt nothing but the fading purse of his lips. He cracked an eye open and saw Janet standing still in front of him, with a giggle being ready to escape past her own mouth. Jack raised an eyebrow of his own, and took a moment to glance upwards where he should find a dangling mistletoe attached to a stick that is tied onto his forehead. But he didn't find the mistletoe.

"Where'd my mistletoe go?!" Jack whined and took the whole contraption off of his head.

"Oh, Jack," Janet tsked in amusement. "You lost your helping aid, that's too bad." Janet laughed mockingly and escaped back into the crowd of tipsy guests, leaving Jack to wonder about the disappearance of his one ticket to glory.

...

The duo stumbled into the dark apartment a few hours later. Janet giggled again at Jacks pout, still grieving over the loss of the plant.

"It's a good thing Terri's visiting her family, or else she'd be woken up by that loud laugh of yours." Jack grumbled, making his way over to the couch and planting himself on it. Janet followed his trail and sat down next to him.

"Oh, come on, Jack," Janet purred close to his ear. "Don't be such a grouch. You can always get another mistletoe."

"Yeah, I could, but that one was special. I used the same one for almost eight years," Jack sighed, snaking his arm around Janet's waist, allowing her head to lull on his shoulder.

"Remember I always used it on you, Chrissy, Cindy and Terri."

Janet sighed, and running her thumb over Jacks nuckles. "I know,"

She glanced back to Jack to see his glum face. Furrowing her brows, she once again sighed and shifted out of Jacks embrace.

"Why do you have to be such a baby?"

Janet reached into her pant pocket and pulled out the mistletoe Jack had previously lost. Jack's eyes widened and his mouth fell agape.

"Janet! You found it!"

"No, I stole it."

Jack gasped dramatically, and reached for the mistletoe. Janet pulled it away from his reach.

"No no no," Janet said in a sensual voice. "I wanna try a different kind of mistletoe kiss."

Jack lowered his arm and watched as Janet hovered the mistletoe over his lap.

"Janet, what are you..." Jacks eyes grew once again as realization entered his mind. Janet smirked at his expense, slowly kneeling in front of him. Jack followed her movements with lust filled eyes, his mouth still slightly hung open in almost disbelief. Almost.

"I think I've had enough drinks to be able to do this." Janet whispered, letting her hands trail up the sides of his legs.

"It's a _really_ good thing Terri's visiting her family." Jack remarked in a hoarse voice.

Janet's hand slowly slid towards the inside of his thighs, enjoying the sound of Jacks sighs. Her smile grew wider upon finally landing on the belt buckle that held his pants around his waist. Jack continued to watch in awe, heat already building inside of him and outside on his skin.

After a few moments of fumbling with his pants, Janet succeeded in unzipping him, and grouping his boxers. Jack moaned when her finger tips came in contact with the growing bulge in his underpants. With a final glance up to his eyes, Jack nodded his head, silently giving permission to continue.

Janet couldn't wait any longer, and finally freed his stiff member.

Janet ran her tongue over her lips to dampen them, and grasped him. Jack let out another soft moan. Janet felt it get harder in her hands, feeling a rush of heat come over her, especially feeling warmth grow in between her own legs. Janet sighed again, causing Jack to shudder at the feel of Janet's breath a few inches from his cock.

Janet inched her way towards Jack, and let her tongue swirl around the tip of Jacks member. Jack let his head fall back, closing eyes and gripping the pillows closest to him. After teasing him for a while, Janet took most of him into her mouth. She began to bob her head up and down, seeming unfazed as Jack placed a hand on the back of her head, running his fingers through her shoulder length dark hair.

"Shit, Janet," Jack muttered lowly, opening an eye to see the pale beauty before him. While Janet had a hand on his left knee, she had the other squeezing his balls and stroking him where she couldn't reach with her mouth. Pleasure shot throughout Jacks body like electric shocks; causing him to gasp and pant. Closing his eyes again, he sighed in content. Jack never thought he would live to see the day that Janet would take a part of him; he'd always thought that it would be nothing more than a wishful, unattainable desire. But he was obviously wrong.

Janet continued to pleasure Jack for a few more minutes. After her jaw began to stiffen, she released Jacks shaft with a pop, and continued to rub him with a soft hand.

"Janet," Jack breathed in panting breath. "Thank you,"

"Oh, we're not done yet."

"Hm?"

Janet dove right in again, exposing Jacks member to the depths of her warmth. Jack gasped in both surprise and in pleasure. Another few strokes, and Jack couldn't take it anymore. Janet felt warm liquid being dispersed into her mouth, causing her to recoil. Cum dripped down her chin as Janet flashed Jack a toothy smile. Jack offered an enormous grin in return and pulled her up onto his lap.

After cleaning up, Janet fell asleep in Jacks room, with Jacks arms wrapped around her protectively.

Terri returned to the apartment the following day to find Jack cooking breakfast and Janet reading another mystery novel at the kitchen table.

"I see nothing has changed here." Terri teased.

...

Whelp. That's all I got! Thanks for reading this trash :)


End file.
